Sareena

1 month old

October 13, 2016 ·

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Dear Sareena,

You are just one month old in these pictures. You were such a happy little baby, revealing your gorgeous smile! Seeing you smile because of us is something we just couldn’t get enough of. We simply adored how smiley you were, so you were nicknamed Smiley. We loved snuggling up with you at night, and your daddy would lovingly call you our little “intruder” in bed. All 3 of us would sleep so peacefully; you would hardly disturb us during the night because it was so easy to feed you right next to me!

This is the time we started to take you out. Your first dinner outing was for Daddy’s 30th birthday, and you were just so easy to bring with us. From then on, we started going out more and bringing you everywhere. I also learned about the world of babywearing and got my first wrap. After carrying you in a wrap for the first time, I was hooked! It was so easy to incorporate you into our life while wearing you so close to our heart. You would be so calm and content snuggled against us for warmth and comfort and would sleep peacefully as we were out and about. It was the perfect way to sneak in extra love and cuddles while multi-tasking. We seriously took you everywhere!

One of our favorite things to do was to watch you take in the world. You’ve always been so observant and you let us be so silly with you! We’d sing to you and dance to you, and you really loved it (we like to think). We had so much fun with you and couldn’t help but become embarrassing silly parents. Whenever I’d sing to you, you’d react by getting so excited and would reveal the biggest smile! I think this is the definition of pure love.

You are just so wonderful and a true blessing. I sometimes wanted to cry about how much I love you. Everytime you’d look at me with your sparkling eyes, my heart felt like it was going to burst. Daddy and I were also still in disbelief that you’re a little person who arrived into our lives and yet it felt as if you were ALWAYS there. It’s almost inconceivable to think that there was ever a time period without a little Sareena in our life. We are so happy you’re here.

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We love our little intruder!

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Here I am at a babywearing group meeting, where I tried on different baby wraps and learned how to use it properly. I became obsessed and wore you all the time! I even had daddy wear you a lot too so he could feel included. It was so cute, we felt like mama kangaroos!

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Outside time!
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You were such a diva when you were sleeping. It’s as if you were saying “excuse me, I need some privacy please!”

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Snow decided to imitate the way you sleep, since he’s also a drama queen.

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Really though you let us do so much with you.

You were seriously the sweetest little thing.

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Love Always,
Mommy & Daddy

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Challenges:

I was already extra sensitive to hearing horrifying stories about babies and children prior to pregnancy, but now that I have my very own baby it’s on a completely different level. I would somehow stumble upon news about someone abusing their baby, or someone just abandoning their baby or even throwing them away in the trash as soon as they were born! This was unfathomable to me. Deep down every mother’s worst fear is something happening to their baby, so the best we can do is protect them as much as we can. But to intentionally harm your own baby is unforgivable. I just couldn’t handle hearing this kind of news, I would break down and cry for those babies because I just wanted to take them in and care for them myself. I couldn’t bear hearing anything in the news about someone’s baby or child passing away. Everything just hit home at this point, so I would just hold Sareena closer and just appreciate her even more. I had to find a way to filter through these unhappy & negative stories and focus on the happy & positive ones. I hated that my bubble burst as I kept stumbling upon these posts. I will teach Sareena to pray for others who are not as fortunate as her because she will ALWAYS possess the love & protection of her mommy and daddy. This has been my biggest challenge: accepting the fact that not every child receives this kind of love. Not every child even gets to grow up. It breaks my heart, and I don’t know how else to toughen up and recover from these stories other than focusing on Sareena.

With love,
Shveta

2 days – 4 weeks old

October 7, 2016 ·

Dear Sareena,

You are between 2 days to 4 weeks old in these photos. You’ve been an absolute angel and have surprisingly made transitioning into parenthood so easy. You were the sweetest little newborn who slept most of the night and were so alert and awake during the day. Your daddy and I wanted to stare at you all day, especially while you were napping. So we did. You cried SO rarely, in fact the only times you cried were when you were left alone with daddy while I was taking a shower. He always liked to joke around with you and ended up teasing you with love until you cried. We found your cry so cute and had to record each one.

I’m so grateful for you being so calm and easy. It was as if you understood my body needed time to heal and to just focus on peacefully bonding. We were so in tune with each other’s needs. Your daddy and I thank you for letting us get plenty of rest and sleep.

Your daddy and I were a little nervous at first about sharing our bed with you because we were afraid you would be so delicate, but once you arrived, we knew it was the most natural thing in the world. Sleeping with you snuggled against me every night is my greatest pleasure. We were in perfect harmony. I think co-sleeping with you really helped with nursing easily and you barely crying in general. There really is nothing better than having you in our bed, and I already want to cry at the thought that one day you will be sleeping in your own room when you’re (hopefully) much, much older.

I simply adored how amazing of a father your daddy was.

Here are some photos from your very first photoshoot when you were 2 weeks old!

Here are a few casual shots of your little nursery put together with love. Though we never had the intention of having you sleep in a crib, I just had to get it anyway for decoration! Your daddy makes so much fun of me for it.

Here I am changing your first diaper when you were a little over a week old… Your daddy was SO amazing and insisted on changing all your diapers up until then!

You really loved your new Bambo Nature diapers after we finished all the pamper diapers the hospital gave us. You were actually SO comfortable in them for once and loved it. We have a proud bambo baby 🙂

Shauray Mama & Shivani Mausi were SOOOOO excited about you and were probably the most excited to meet you! They couldn’t stop holding you and would constantly fight over you while timing each other about how long the other one held you for. They talked and played so much with you and couldn’t stop admiring you. You were just 3 days old and they already made you such a G. You were very particular about your music selection when you were in the car. You’d only let us listen to Snoop Dog. You were such a thug.

Sometimes you looked so much like your daddy!

Hehe you loved your first butt wash! You were acting like you were at the spa and just couldn’t get enough of the warm water.

And of course, your first bath right after your umbilical cord fell off a week after birth! You look so squishy and hilarious. I love you, my child. Your daddy is seriously such a pro, he’s got this!

Your 2 week check up!

Your Aji & Azo were obsessed with you

SO chubby! I was SOOO obsessed with your cheeks.

I am so in love with our family of 3. We love you so much, Sareena!

Love always,
Mommy & Daddy

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Dear everyone else,

The hardest part about motherhood for me has been watching Sareena grow up. Sareena just turned 9 months as I type this and reflect back on our experience. This is a way for me to relive everything whenever I miss how small she was, and a way for me to not forget how I felt during each precious moment. I want Sareena to know how much we cherish her and what it was like raising her from the very beginning. I’m going to be writing monthly letters to her until I’m all caught up to her current age. Bear with me about the slow speed as I sort through thousands of photos and compose these posts which are only possible to do during her naps while she’s sleeping soundly on me.

I will be sure to conclude each post with challenges and any additional thoughts addressing the rest of my readers. So here it goes!

Challenges

The only real challenge we faced during this time period was dealing with my painful post partum recovery due to a 4th degree tear. I could barely stand, let alone walk without being in pain during this time. Pain meds were not an option I was willing to take because of it potentially passing through the milk. I’m so glad we were following the 40 days of rest concept: an important cultural post partum ritual that’s practiced in South America, Asia, Greece, & The Middle East, where a new mother takes 40 days of rest to recover and bond with her baby. The principle of this tradition is that the mother should be taken care of so she can be at her best later on to take care of everyone else. We weren’t able to follow it completely,but I healed perfectly and seamlessly within a few weeks and would go through all of it again if I had to! No Regrets! Motherhood really showed me what I’m made of and gave me a newfound strength. Also, I discovered I can handle pain like nobody’s business. Can’t mess with this mama bear!

Another challenge I faced were a bit of the blues for a few hours. Luckily I didn’t get any post partum depression, but I did get one day of feeling completely hollow and empty when I was 5 days post partum. I’ve been told this feeling is so normal especially transitioning from nurturing your baby so lovingly inside of you and suddenly it’s as if you’re detached. I was even worried that Sareena was just using me as a kitchen at first and didn’t care much about me other than that, but then I realized how special & unique our connection is. Sameer reassured me how she actually does need me for more than food– she needs me for comfort, cuddles and love. (9 months later as I type this, I laugh at how I could ever think she didn’t need me. She is OBSESSED with me and I wouldn’t have it any other way!) I’m glad the feeling of emptiness only lasted a few hours for me and never came back again. She truly does need her mother to be nurtured. I couldn’t stand being away from her and secretly hated when someone else took her away from me in a different room! I wanted to cry and felt like a part of me was missing. This feeling lasted until she was 8 months! We both couldn’t stand being apart from each other! After she turned 8 months I started realizing I needed a little time to myself everyday, but overall I still don’t like being away from her.

Favorite Resources Relevant to this Time

The Womanly Art of Nursing

Mothering the Mother: 40 Days of Rest

With Love,
Shveta

Birth 0-1 day old

September 13, 2016 ·

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Sareena was born in Los Angeles at Cedars Sinai Hospital on January 5, 2016. You can read her birth story here. This is the day my happily ever after & whole world began.

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This is very first picture that was taken of her! Her first breath took ours away.

From the second she was born she was immediately plopped onto me for skin to skin bonding. This is a very crucial part of bonding & helps regulate infants’ heartbeat, breathing, temperature, appetite, stress, sleep, etc. It took me a minute to realize that she was on me, I couldn’t believe she was finally here! She never left my or her daddy’s side at all throughout the hospital. She is our perfect little potato.

Sareena was so tired from all her hard work that she was hungry, crawled up to me, latched on and began successfully feeding. I was in such awe! I was also cupping her butt and she pooped in my hand.

After a few hours, the nurses took Sareena to measure her & weigh her. This is her first cry! I actually felt like a part of me was missing and wanted to cry myself about her being away from me, even though she was just a couple feet away and it was for a few minutes!

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She was born super squishy and chubby, we couldn’t take our eyes off of her. I actually thought she looked hilarious but in an absolutely adorable way. We couldn’t stop staring at her. She looked like a perfect combination of her aunts from both sides, her Mausi & Akki. Sameer was so obsessed and couldn’t stop admiring her beauty. He was in such a daze.

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Look at her, posing since she was a few hours old… For her first selfie.

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With Nani (Maternal Grandma)

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With Akki (Paternal Aunt)

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With Aji (Paternal Grandma)

With Azo (Paternal Grandpa)

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Drogo always sensed my pregnancy, but when Sareena’s Akki took one of her baby blanket’s to present to Drogo, he became OBSESSED. He would not stop sniffing the blanket. I think he realized what a huge responsibility he has of taking care of a little baby. So here he is saying “I must protect my tiny human.”

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Uncle Ron & Aunt Alana came to visit!

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With Nurse Katherine at Cedars right before we left!

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I still remember vividly that the only time she really cried was once during the middle of the night and none of us knew what to do. We called the nurse, and she was like, is she hungry? No she wasn’t. Did she need to burp? No. She became hysterical with her cries. Did she need a diaper change? Yep…. all that shrieking was for a wet diaper! It didn’t even occur to us. So we were always diligent about that from then on to prevent her from crying again due to wet diaper discomfort!

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My favorite moments were the times we were left alone to be a family of 3. There is something so peaceful and magical about becoming new parents and getting to know our baby on our own, it’s a bond that nothing can compare to.

Reflecting back on these pictures make me so happy and I’m glad I have a space where I can post my cell phone pictures & write about her casually. Sareena is already growing up so fast I want to cry! This is motherhood unplugged. Where every post will be raw & real. This is a backstage pass to our parenthood 🙂