Dear Sareena,
You are 4 months old in these photos. You are my absolute baby doll! Your daddy and I simply cannot stop admiring your beauty.
We took you on your first hike here in Brentwood. You were sleeping for half of it, and then the rest of the time you were busy looking fabulous. You have such a BIG personality and are already pretty sassy. We’ve been going on nature walks pretty regularly and you seem to be in awe observing all the different flowers, trees and leaves. Your favorite flowers are roses; you enjoy smelling their fragrance and picking apart the petals!
Your laughter is our favorite sound in the world. We never tire of hearing it. We constantly search for ways to make you laugh. Your joy is our love and happiness. Your favorite nursery rhyme without a doubt is The Wheels on the Bus. You also love a few silly songs that I’ve made up. Singing is one of your FAVORITE ways to interact with me, your entire face just lights up. You also enjoy rocking on my legs going up and down. We spend so much time cuddling and babbling and singing.
We celebrated our first Mother’s Day together. Being your mother is a privilege; I am so lucky to have gotten you as a daughter. Your daddy reminds me that you chose me to be your mommy for a reason and I thank the universe for that. I must have done something amazing to have you for a daughter and your daddy as my husband. I promise I will raise you with love and devotion to be a good person. Your happiness and character is what’s important to me above anything else.
You went on your first mini road trip to San Diego! You were such a delight.
Here I am looking all fabulous for your usual stroller walks.
Just kidding I usually wore yoga pants and a tank when I’d take you in your stroller. And then you’d nap while I grocery shopped.
On the other hand, you actually did look fabulous 100% of the time we went hiking.
Work it
And then you had to take a break to nap.
Much to my dismay, you did not seem to care for story time yet. You wouldn’t even tolerate being read to.
But you totally loved playing dress up!
Although matching with us seemed to make you want to barf. Just kidding you just happened to spit up during these times.
A lot.
You were a drama queen.
And had a lot of personality
You were so physically active already trying to move around so much. We wanted you to slow down and relax! We wrapped you up in a blanket to contain you as a joke. Your foot just sprang out.
There you go using everything as a foot rest.
You’d love chewing your toes!
And of course, your secretive self soothing..
Toward the end of each day, you would observe me cooking on the counter. Sometimes I tried to make it like an interactive cooking show. I like to think you enjoyed it.
And then you were our dinner centerpiece. And entertainment.
We can’t handle your cuteness. Everytime we look at you we just want to squeeze you and freeze the moment.
Then we realize we can’t.
And we want to cry.
Wait for it..
We love you so much!
With lots of love,
Mommy & Daddy
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Challenges:
Emotionally invested in extended family situations
Our family was going through a devastating situation regarding my sister in law’s marriage breaking while she was pregnant. There was so much going on and I was so emotionally affected by this because I love her as my own blood sister. I was there, I personally saw what was happening to my SIL firsthand and was experiencing it all with her. I couldn’t sleep, and if I did, I’d frequently wake up from the nightmare of a situation. I don’t want to disclose details here, but long story short, I was so consumed in my role of being a sister that I felt like I was falling short in being a mother.
I felt so guilty that Sareena would constantly be staring in my eyes and smile up at me as I’d nurse her but I’d be too wrapped up in the intense phone conversations to respond back to her. I would actually break down and cry at times because this is the time I felt so overwhelmed with guilt and as if I was being such a horrible mother by not interacting with her as much. I felt like I missed out.
I overcame this by choosing to change my perspective and viewed it as an opportunity to teach Sareena a valuable life lesson. I was teaching her how to be a sister, how to be a best friend, and how to be there for others. We may not be able to fix everything, but it is important to be there for the people we love, no matter what. That’s what counts, and that is what helps loved gain the strength to get through anything. I had to pull back a bit as I was way too emotionally invested, but we found our sense of balance as we happily continued to be there 🙂
Love Always,
Shveta