Archives for October 2016

Dear Sareena,

You are 3 months old in these photos. You had the sweetest personality and would often laugh at the silliest things! We enjoyed our daily morning routine of singing nursery rhymes together. You would reward me with such smiley eyes and an ear to ear grin. You would often coo and babble trying to join in.

You’ve been exploring different noises and sounds for a while, but you recently started babbling mamamama a lot! I know it’s way too early to speak yet, but it made me so happy to hear you say that while looking at me and grinning.

You went to your first wedding here in Los Angeles. It was an amazing Filipino-Indian Wedding! You were such a hit, everyone complimented how adorable you were and how surprisingly well behaved you were! You were so observant about everything going on and constantly smiling and giggled. People were in such disbelieve when I told them it was normal for you to hardly ever cry. Maybe it’s because you were always with me, so you never really had a reason to. ☺

I’m serious, you hardly ever cried, and if you did it was nothing that me holding you and cuddling you couldn’t instantly fix. We just couldn’t get enough of each other. I am always here for you baby girl, I hear you, I see you, I believe your wants are your needs, and they are valid. I never feared spoiling you because there is no such thing as spoiling a baby with too much love. I treasure the fact that all it takes to make you happy is my presence. I secretly hope that never changes, because I’m always here for you.

I often caught you staring up at me in awe and when I’d look right back, you’d get the biggest smile. It’s as if you were waiting for me to just look at you. You would melt my heart with each giggle, squeal, and coo. We would babble back and forth and have frequent conversations. We did this for hours and hours. You aren’t just completely immersed in my world. You ARE my whole world.

At the wedding

With daddy and the pups!

I love having you everywhere with me. You’re my little buddy and pretty much my partner in crime.

Drogo liked to check in on you to make sure you were okay in your carseat.

But then he remembered were just a straight up G, even in your sleep.

One time, I put my fingers in front of you and you reached for them to try to get up. So I helped you sit up. Since then you’ve been OBSESSED with trying to get up, it would make you SO happy!

Just chillin’ with your Akki

You started to self soothe here and there around this time on your own using your fingers. We were told that this is actually a really beneficial thing for you to do and helps regulate emotions naturally. There was no need to interfere with this as we weren’t worried about it becoming a habit since we knew you would stop on your own (lo and behold you stopped by 6 months). But you still felt the need to do it in secret for some reason…

Hubba hubba (you were never amused by daddy’s antics)

Bath time fun

There you go, using me as your footrest again. No matter what, you demanded comfort.

Hanging out with your mommy & me pals

Such a happy silly baby

I can’t think of a witty caption but you’re definitely thinking something interesting.

Your check up visit!

We loved playing..

I’m going to get you!!!

We just couldn’t handle how cute you were. We just couldn’t take it!!! We just wanted to squeeze and squish you all the time.

With lots of love,
Mommy & Daddy

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Challenges:
Husband feeling neglected

The challenge I faced during this time was figuring out how to make Sameer not feel neglected. He felt as if I forgot all about him and that all my love transferred over to Sareena! Of course, that wasn’t true one bit and I couldn’t help but laugh. It took me a while to realize he wasn’t joking and was actually scared I didn’t need him anymore! He thought Sareena replaced him.

I had to gently explain to him that there is now another family member I have to take care of, especially since this family member is so little and brand new to the world. Babies constantly feed and want to be cuddled. Whether we like it or not, they require a lot of time and attention.

Sameer told me how he wished I were more available so we could do everything together like we used to. All he wanted was to spend time with me. Not as mommy and daddy, but as husband and wife once in a while. To resume our dinners at home where we just focus on each other, with conversations that don’t entail parenthood, to keep getting to know each other even after 3 years of marriage. To simply continue to date each other and be our silly selves. To just be Sameer and Shveta.

That broke my heart. All my husband has ever wanted is my love and attention. He is happy as long as I am happy. He has never asked for anything more than time with me. I’m glad he was vocal about this because I would not have realized this until much later on! I am grateful I had the opportunity to fix this early on.

We’ve had to become more mindful and creative with spending quality time together. It is definitely possible; we just have to work harder at it now. As a result, we cherish each other even more and we really value each moment alone together.

Love always,
Shveta

Dear Sareena,

You are just two months old in these pictures.

You and I started our very first mommy and me class session and had a blast! It’s so wonderful to have found a place where there are at least 11 other babies who were born within days of you. I can’t wait to see you all grow up together. After class, I would sometimes take you to the cute little park next door so you could see the ducks play in the pond.

We also started to go to the Santa Monica farmers’ market together with some of our favorite neighbors who turned into one of our best friends! Though you were so active when I put you down, you would instantly sleep whenever I wore you or put you in the stroller. So walking to the grocery store and farmer’s market trips automatically turned into your outdoor naptimes.

You would look forward to bath time and enjoyed splashing in the water. Your hair would get all cute and curly whenever it was wet. I enjoyed this beautiful ritual of bathing you while playing soft music, and then massaging your little body in sweet almond oil.

We miss daddy when he’s away now that he’s gone back to work at the office, but we love greeting him with a special song and dance once he arrives! My favorite part of the day is seeing how big you smile when we start doing our silly little song and dance, and how your eyes get that extra special sparkle seeing your daddy return after a long day.

Mommy & Me class

Regular stroller walks to the grocery store

Our neighbors became one of our best friends! We would go on walks together, went to the farmer’s market together, and had frequent playdates 🙂

It was such a joy to have you tag along to our weekly brunch date. It was a tradition your daddy and I had kept since we practically met, so it was wonderful to be able to bring you with us everywhere 🙂

You loved seeing Uncle Ron & being with Aunt Alana. You even slept in her arms!

Drogo loved checking in on you to make sure you were comfortable during your naps.

Drogo also liked to check in on you to make sure you’re having a good time when we went out for walks.

We were so obsessed with your feet. Your perpetual demand for a foot rest started around this age. I happened to be your favorite foot rest.

You loved bath time!

Our massages only lasted a few minutes since you were already so active and trying to be on the go at this age.

Our little meetings

We love you so much we feel like we’re going to burst.

Love Always,
Mommy & Daddy
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Challenges:
“Working” from home.

Sareena has always been SOOO easy. So easy that I thought I could help my husband with his start up AND start my own organic clothing brand for babies. I really thought it would be so cute and so much fun to start my own brand that’s dedicated to Sareena. I began daydreaming about different designs and products I could release. I’d even have Sareena lay in her rock’n’play and set her up next to my desk and show her possible designs and color schemes. We’d have little “meetings” and it was just so cute acting like she was my partner in this and as if we were making every decision together. I had a professional logo created, I sought out suppliers and manufacturers, and I developed my own PR & marketing strategies. I would get excited about the possibility of how the brand could grow with Sareena by introducing more and more products that coincide with her age. I had a whole plan set and I was ready to take this on without sacrificing any time away from my daughter and husband.

No. That was SO unrealistic and would have taken WAY too much time away from Sareena and Sameer (for god’s sake I barely have time to blog). I totally underestimated the amount of time that I would have had to put into this venture. It just wasn’t possible to do it all, I was spreading myself too thin. It made me distracted enough to not spend enough time with Sareena when she was awake or Sameer when he came home from work. I was constantly feeling so guilty.

Mothers who have to work from home: I don’t know how you do it while keeping your sanity! For a very brief moment, I understood your plight. It seems like working from home would give you the best of both worlds, but really it’s more like not being able to pay enough attention to your child and not being able to pay enough attention to your work either, resulting with the feeling like you’re half assing both. And then there’s also the task of cooking and running the household. I got a taste of the “working from home” world and it just wasn’t for me! And my “work” was basically a hobby.

As I began posting on my blog, I started receiving several design collaboration requests from existing brands to launch my own line within the company. I was so tempted to accept, but I just couldn’t afford to put in the energy and time commitment. Looking back many months later, I have zero regrets. The timing just wasn’t right for me. Once I stopped pursuing this, I felt a huge sense of relief and as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Opportunities may present themselves again in the future, and if the timing is ever right I would love to embark on that route, but right now I have my hands full with a bouncing baby girl. And I wouldn’t have it any other way ☺

All in all, that was really short lived but still a challenge I felt like I had to go through in order to realize that Sareena really would be taking up all my time. Not because she’s so demanding at this age, but because she will only get more and more active and I do not want to miss anything. I often caught her staring up at me in awe, and when I looked back at her she would give me the biggest smile on her face, as if she was just waiting for me to acknowledge and notice her. That melted me and broke my heart. The most important parenting you do happens during the first year of a baby’s life. It sets the tone and foundation for the years to come. Trust is built, connections are established, and healthy ways to express emotions are developed. I just know that I couldn’t miss any of her moments, no matter how big or how small. I want to be present through all of it. I don’t want to be a distracted parent who is too busy to pay attention to her own child, especially for something that’s not even a necessity. There’s truly nothing I enjoy more than spending time with my daughter. She is my dream come true <3 With love, Shveta

Dear Sareena,

You are between 2 days to 4 weeks old in these photos. You’ve been an absolute angel and have surprisingly made transitioning into parenthood so easy. You were the sweetest little newborn who slept most of the night and were so alert and awake during the day. Your daddy and I wanted to stare at you all day, especially while you were napping. So we did. You cried SO rarely, in fact the only times you cried were when you were left alone with daddy while I was taking a shower. He always liked to joke around with you and ended up teasing you with love until you cried. We found your cry so cute and had to record each one.

I’m so grateful for you being so calm and easy. It was as if you understood my body needed time to heal and to just focus on peacefully bonding. We were so in tune with each other’s needs. Your daddy and I thank you for letting us get plenty of rest and sleep.

Your daddy and I were a little nervous at first about sharing our bed with you because we were afraid you would be so delicate, but once you arrived, we knew it was the most natural thing in the world. Sleeping with you snuggled against me every night is my greatest pleasure. We were in perfect harmony. I think co-sleeping with you really helped with nursing easily and you barely crying in general. There really is nothing better than having you in our bed, and I already want to cry at the thought that one day you will be sleeping in your own room when you’re (hopefully) much, much older.

I simply adored how amazing of a father your daddy was.

Here are some photos from your very first photoshoot when you were 2 weeks old!

Here are a few casual shots of your little nursery put together with love. Though we never had the intention of having you sleep in a crib, I just had to get it anyway for decoration! Your daddy makes so much fun of me for it.

Here I am changing your first diaper when you were a little over a week old… Your daddy was SO amazing and insisted on changing all your diapers up until then!

You really loved your new Bambo Nature diapers after we finished all the pamper diapers the hospital gave us. You were actually SO comfortable in them for once and loved it. We have a proud bambo baby 🙂

Shauray Mama & Shivani Mausi were SOOOOO excited about you and were probably the most excited to meet you! They couldn’t stop holding you and would constantly fight over you while timing each other about how long the other one held you for. They talked and played so much with you and couldn’t stop admiring you. You were just 3 days old and they already made you such a G. You were very particular about your music selection when you were in the car. You’d only let us listen to Snoop Dog. You were such a thug.

Sometimes you looked so much like your daddy!

Hehe you loved your first butt wash! You were acting like you were at the spa and just couldn’t get enough of the warm water.

And of course, your first bath right after your umbilical cord fell off a week after birth! You look so squishy and hilarious. I love you, my child. Your daddy is seriously such a pro, he’s got this!

Your 2 week check up!

Your Aji & Azo were obsessed with you

SO chubby! I was SOOO obsessed with your cheeks.

I am so in love with our family of 3. We love you so much, Sareena!

Love always,
Mommy & Daddy

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Dear everyone else,

The hardest part about motherhood for me has been watching Sareena grow up. Sareena just turned 9 months as I type this and reflect back on our experience. This is a way for me to relive everything whenever I miss how small she was, and a way for me to not forget how I felt during each precious moment. I want Sareena to know how much we cherish her and what it was like raising her from the very beginning. I’m going to be writing monthly letters to her until I’m all caught up to her current age. Bear with me about the slow speed as I sort through thousands of photos and compose these posts which are only possible to do during her naps while she’s sleeping soundly on me.

I will be sure to conclude each post with challenges and any additional thoughts addressing the rest of my readers. So here it goes!

Challenges

The only real challenge we faced during this time period was dealing with my painful post partum recovery due to a 4th degree tear. I could barely stand, let alone walk without being in pain during this time. Pain meds were not an option I was willing to take because of it potentially passing through the milk. I’m so glad we were following the 40 days of rest concept: an important cultural post partum ritual that’s practiced in South America, Asia, Greece, & The Middle East, where a new mother takes 40 days of rest to recover and bond with her baby. The principle of this tradition is that the mother should be taken care of so she can be at her best later on to take care of everyone else. We weren’t able to follow it completely,but I healed perfectly and seamlessly within a few weeks and would go through all of it again if I had to! No Regrets! Motherhood really showed me what I’m made of and gave me a newfound strength. Also, I discovered I can handle pain like nobody’s business. Can’t mess with this mama bear!

Another challenge I faced were a bit of the blues for a few hours. Luckily I didn’t get any post partum depression, but I did get one day of feeling completely hollow and empty when I was 5 days post partum. I’ve been told this feeling is so normal especially transitioning from nurturing your baby so lovingly inside of you and suddenly it’s as if you’re detached. I was even worried that Sareena was just using me as a kitchen at first and didn’t care much about me other than that, but then I realized how special & unique our connection is. Sameer reassured me how she actually does need me for more than food– she needs me for comfort, cuddles and love. (9 months later as I type this, I laugh at how I could ever think she didn’t need me. She is OBSESSED with me and I wouldn’t have it any other way!) I’m glad the feeling of emptiness only lasted a few hours for me and never came back again. She truly does need her mother to be nurtured. I couldn’t stand being away from her and secretly hated when someone else took her away from me in a different room! I wanted to cry and felt like a part of me was missing. This feeling lasted until she was 8 months! We both couldn’t stand being apart from each other! After she turned 8 months I started realizing I needed a little time to myself everyday, but overall I still don’t like being away from her.

Favorite Resources Relevant to this Time

The Womanly Art of Nursing

Mothering the Mother: 40 Days of Rest

With Love,
Shveta